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14. An agreement with God – regarding kisses

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Sven speaking: When I was 20 years old I closed a deal with God entailing I wouldn’t kiss a woman before I knew it was her I would marry. The background to this was that I had seen so much suffering due to young men and women not taking their social live seriously. It was more like a "hit-miss affair", and there were a lot more "misses" than "hits" (Sven's special expressions). This meant that I was very careful in dealing with the opposite sex, and some might have thought that I was completely immune against women. I wasn’t for sure, but I had a deal with God – he was going to show me who I would marry and thus I would not have to guess my way forward.

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Sometimes I would get impatient, thinking it was taking way too long for the right woman to come along. But at the same time I knew that if it wasn’t the right woman, what God had put on my heart might in the end come to nothing. I understood that the choice of wife was, after salvation, the most important aspect of life. I met some women who I thought would probably be a good wife to a pastor or a missionary. But I always reached the same conclusion that she wasn’t the one.

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One of my comrades from my time during the non-combatant service in the Combat School of Vällinge was from Örebro. During our time at the school, I used to go with him to his parents’ home in Örebro at a few weekends. I got to know his parents as true believers and that they were very active in the church.

One day in early September 1966, I received a phone call from his father. He told me that his son had moved to Stockholm because he got a job there. Now, the parents were worried that he would "get lost in the urban jungle," as he had not recently shown so much interest in the church. The father asked me to contact him.

On a Monday night, a little later in September, when I was free I thought it was time to grant the parents' wish. I went to their son's address in Södermalm.

At the moment I knock on his door, it opens and my friend comes out.

"I came to visit you but I see you are on the way out so I'll have to come back some other time," I said.

"I'm on my way to visit two women. One is a Swedish-American and the other is a Swedish-Australian. The girl from Australia has promised to show us some slides. I think you should come with," my friend said.

"Well I can’t just come along like that – I'm not invited!"

"You don’t have to worry about that. They are not very “Swedish” in that manner. They won’t think you are being pushy. They’ll just think it's funny if you come along," my friend replies.

His response convinced me so I decide to come along with him. During the trip to the girls, I get an opportunity to talk to him and can thus fulfill my promise to his father.

We arrive and knock on the door. The moment when you could hear that someone was about to open the door, my friend jumps aside. Now, he is not visible when the door is opened. There I stand, seemingly alone, looking at the woman who opened the door and she is, of course, looking at me too. I feel embarrassed at the situation and ask my friend behind the door: "What is the number and name of this woman?" He’d had so many girlfriends, he probably needed to have them numbered by now, I thought. Anyway, we are introduced to each other. The girl who has opened the door is Marianne from Australia. Despite my relatively harsh opening phrase we are invited in for coffee and to look at the slides. Since my friend helps Marianne to close a few buttons on her blouse, I take it as a sign that she is his girlfriend. But why does it matter anyway? I have no interest in "the kind of girls" who is interested in my friend.

Anyway, it was very interesting to see the slides. There were lots of photos from Australia, but even more from Papua New Guinea, which her brother had taken during a visit there. Throughout the trip home, I had the opportunity to converse even further with my friend and it was then made clear to me that Marianne was not his girlfriend, but rather the Swedish-American woman.

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